Suddenly

Suddenly,
everything makes sense.
The way I tease you
and the reason we speak.
Why I bring you up in conversations
that have nothing to do with you.
Suddenly,
I understand.
Why my train of thought always leads to you
and I can't help but smile when I think of your face.
Why I've been singing love songs
with a grin on my face.
Suddenly,
I know why.
I've been looking at dresses for the upcoming dance
and I've been hoping that maybe you would ask me.
Why I wait for 11:11 to come
and cross my fingers as I wish for you.
Suddenly,
I know.
The reason why I search for you in the hallways
and look at you across the room.
I know that I really like you
and I want you to like me too.

Realization

When it began
we were just friends.
That was it,
no questions asked.
I've known you for so long
it just made sense.
But now,
I'm not so sure.
All of a sudden my heart's racing,
and I'm imagining us together.
Holding hands,
hugging,
kissing.
Your bold, blue eyes
and your golden blonde hair.
Your face of perfection
which is suddenly so beautiful.
Your ringing laugh
as I say something silly.
Your bubbly personality
and your constant smile.
You're joking ways
and your one worded texts.
You're tall, thin body
and your big soft hands.
All of these things
I never noticed before
are suddenly the gravity
holding me down.
What happened
and how
can I make it happen to you too?

You Looked At Me

I watch you from across the room
you look up, I look away.
Do you see me?
Do you know?
I hope not
and yet, I kind of wish you did.
I look for excuses
to speak to you, talk to you.
Should I say hi?
Should I ignore you?
Should I say hi, then ignore you?
Should I flirt?
Should I act shy?
Should I tell you everything?
Should I act mysterious?
Should I be this?
Should I be that?
All these questions run through my head
an explosion of decisions.
All because you looked at me.

This Is Hell

So the flow and rhyme in this really changes a lot, but oh well.


I grew up
far too fast
becoming an adult
when I was just a child.
Never really
had a chance
to be carefree
to just run wild.

I was the oldest of the babies
which made me the mama
when mama wasn't there.
Working so hard
just to pay the rent
that was life
and it wasn't fair.

But that's just how
my life works
doing my best
with what there is.
Putting on a smile
when I go to school
hiding myself
behind my frizz
of hair.

Losing myself in music
and writing my poems
to let out the feelings
I will never share.
Because my friends,
they think they understand
but I know that
they don't really care.

Because they don't know about my life
like they think they do.
For I never tell them
of all of the things I have been through.
Because it won't help
like they say it will
for to solve all of my problems
I need more than a big pill.

So I keep to myself
and take care of the kids
that are more like my children
than my siblings.
And I go to school every day
and get good grades
then come home and try
to deal with the rest.

When I grow up
I want to leave it all
be a new person
without this wreched past.
Just start anew
and live my life
never look back
because this,
this is hell.

Flower Petals In The Wind

So, I wrote this song. And it makes no sense. But it does make sense. I think I'm bipolar. Just kidding. Or not.


Flower petals in the wind
flying past my head.
My hair is blowing
a ghostly smile
is stretched across my face.
There are no feelings
yet there are many
I cannot describe myself.
Everything's happening
but nothing's happening
let's just stay like this forever.

[CHORUS 1]
He loves me,
he loves me not
the question flies
in the air
with the flower petals
in the wind
holding the answers
to everything and nothing.

Flower petals in the wind
I want a take a picture
of this beautiful moment.
So happy and blissful
but so sad and disgraceful
an angry mob of emotions
fighting for control
but everyone's winning
and nobody's winning.

[CHORUS 1]
He loves me,
he loves me not
the question flies
in the air
with the flower petals
in the wind
holding the answers
to everything and nothing.

The answer is yes
the answer is no.
It's sunny outside
I can't see through the snow.
I'm euphoric
I'm morbidly depressed.
I'm at my worst
I'm at my best.

[CHORUS 2]
He loves me,
he loves me not
I thought I knew
what I thought.
I'm 100% right
I'm 100% wrong.
There's nothing to do
but sing this song.

[CHORUS 1]
He loves me,
he loves me not
the question flies
in the air
with the flower petals
in the wind
holding the answers
to everything and nothing.

Flower petals in the wind
holding the answers.

With Love

This is for my big project of the school year that is worth 900 points. We have to write a bajillion different things in different styles and this is one of the two orginal poems I had to write. I also had to do an analysis of it :( Buttttttttt, I really like it :)


She closes the blinds
known as her eyelids,
shutting out the world
that surrounds her.

Imagining a place
that is nothing but bliss.
As calm as the fresh waters
flowing through a spring.

Where peace is a given
and the trees do the hugging,
for they have no fear
of the death a chainsaw brings.

Where the birds sing lullabies
and the animals laugh.
Where there is no such thing
as that monster called violence.

The pitter-patter of rain
sings you sleep.
Education is no longer a priviledge,
but something everyone gets.

Where a gun is a myth
known only in stories,
no more real than a dragon
blowing fire on its enemies.

Where death is something
in the distant future
that won't happen until
you are old and ready.

But this place is not real,
it is no more than a dream.
The water of the spring
is rough and deadly.

The trees need hugging
because they are dying,
although not enough people
seem to care.

The birds are screaming
with their caws
and the animals are crying
as they are killed for meat.

The rain is pouring
keeping you awake,
and only some get the education
they really, truly need.

A gun is a murderer
used every day in not just war,
but also in neighborhoods,
where a bang is heard from down the street.

Death is something
we all learn to fear
because plenty of people are dying
too young, far too young.

This worlds we live in
is full of bad
and we need to end it
with love.